Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
