i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
