Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
