If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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