I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
