You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
how does that bad decision feel?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
