I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
