its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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