You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
