marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
