Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
