Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
