I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
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