I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
