I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
