So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
