You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
