You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
