Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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