you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We need to rekindle our bromance
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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