Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
