i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
