My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
