Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
