Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
