I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
