I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
