I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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