if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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