Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
