there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
