Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
