tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
