My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
