I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
