Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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