We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i out mim tonsoeep
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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