He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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