Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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