i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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