She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
