Please, let me fuck your mom
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
