Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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