Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
