I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We left the knife in your bed.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
