You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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