I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
