Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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