Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They are going to name an STD after you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
