I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
