wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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