I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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