So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
