so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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